I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
