Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
