You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Success! We fucked roommates!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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