my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
im holly from the hills drunk
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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