Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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