her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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