Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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