You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
A+ Viking dick
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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