Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
