Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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