Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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