I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
