just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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