That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
