I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
