Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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