rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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