i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Only a mothe r could love this liver
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Randomize
