Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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