Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
