if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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