That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Moan for me like Helen Keller
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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