you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
