They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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