I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize