i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
