hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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