So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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