WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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