just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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