Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
