i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
