Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
