So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
