I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize