I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
