Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
