Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
