you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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