I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize