that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize