Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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