i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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