Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
