whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
