I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
