i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
