Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize