we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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