office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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