is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
