we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
