windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize