how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
