is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize