READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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