Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i would one night stand the shit outta him
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
