I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
