I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
