do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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