It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
