You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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