Sober January is a disaster.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
