fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
