I looked at my own cervix.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
