Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
