he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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