she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
