On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Pooping to opera.
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