just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
