what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
