i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She's the barista slut.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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