did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
