i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
