yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize