did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
