when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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