is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
