that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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