My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
