This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
